The Handshake

Have you ever wondered whether you can read a person by their handshake?

1) The Linguini Handshake
2) The "Pulverizer" Handshake
3) The "Just Right" Handshake

Tad Safran- A Male Chauvinist Swine

This is in response to Tad Safran's article that has been incensing women on both sides of the Atlantic and which has put paid to his chances to his getting to first base with any self-respecting woman.

Before I cite my two cents on the subject, I would like to say that it is every human's responsibility to look after their health and look groomed. It is not only a woman's prerogative to look good. And moreover, men should not objectify women.

In pre-modern times where women had to depend on men for economic security, women had a vested interest to groom themselves continuously and men took "looking unattractive" to the heights. But now the equation has changed. Women have crawled out of that "dependent rut" that men like to keep us in and more women are looking at financial security as a goal that is to obtained by self.

If we are going to be taking pot shots at women for every perceived flaw, let's look at men with their very real flaws. In other words, what's good for the goose is also good for the gander. Why should only women bear the crosses of so much baggage on looking good? Let men also have neuroses on being skinny, having a clear skin, having no wrinkles, having a flat tummy, having chiselled features, having no dark circles, having the perfect nose, etc and let men also tweeze, pluck, wax, tuck, lift, moisturize, conceal, gloss, coat, powder, botox any unsightly body part. Why should only women be subjected to this?

1) Why is it that for every 1 attractive woman, I see a ten thousand ugly men? This is the ratio I have encountered. 1: 10000. Maybe there is a reason why lesbianism is growing.
2) One is more likely to find men in unkempt, wrinkled clothes or who stumbled across looking scruffy as fashionable not because of fashion but out of sheer laziness.
3) Why do men think that their body odor is their distinctive perfume? There have been times where in crowded trains or buses where you unfortunately cannot choose your travelling companions, I have choked for breath. This is because men are more likely to wear the same clothes they wore the previous day and the odor is distinctly unpleasant.
4) Beer guts are not cute and adorable. Why is it I see more "pregnant-looking" men than women?
5) And no, white socks went out with Michael Jackson.

Health fads that will kill us

How many times do we have conflicting "solid scientific evidence" and then after some time, "evidence to the contrary"? The number of times that scientists make sweeping statements and retract them and reissue them is stupendous. Here are some of those.
1) A normal human being requires eight glasses of water a day.
2) Vitamin supplements improve a hundred million things.
3) A glass of wine prevents heart disease.
4) Dark chocolate is good for you.
5) Three cups of tea prevents strokes.

Politically correct

Have you wondered who coined the soft-cushions for the hard knocks of life? Yes, I am talking about politically correct terms such as "vertically challenged" for "short" or "melanin challenged" for "white". Here are some I made up.

1) Stupid Neurally limited
2) Dull Creatively impaired
3) Dead Life-deprived
4) Boring Fun-neutered
5) Criminal Morally challenged
6) Poor Cash impaired
7) Fat Horizontally challenged
8) Thin Adipose-deficient
9) Divorced Maritally martial